Men

For me, men are an acquired taste, I wasn't born into it. But here is the story, hopefully shorter than the previous posts.

It all started while I was waiting for a girlfriend at a public place.  I was dressed more "fashion" than usual, I still had a boyish look, and was a little bored when all of a sudden a friendly man on his late thirties approached me.  He said hello, and I was super shy, but replied back in a soft tone.  He invited me to walk to another part, I told him I couldn't, and he said he just needed to sit a few steps far.  I don't know why but I followed him, and when he sat he told me how sexy I was and showed me a huge erection he had, easily visible through his shorts.  I felt ashamed, he said it was OK, he wanted to invite me to his place that was near there.  I told him I couldn't and needed to go.  He told me to come back that night.  I kind of rushed away.

After my initial scare, eased by my view of him going out, I started to get confused.  How could he like me? I got angry.  I then calmed down and pretended that nothing happened.  My girlfriend finally arrived, I tried to be as normal as possible, but didn't want to tell her what happened.  It was something I think it could have changed our relationship, years later I thought it would have been for good.  But I was silent, try to focus on her, had a regular date, she was VERY forward that day and I felt uncomfortable, felt a little violated.  She couldn't understand, I guess I confused her, specially when it was getting late and instead of me insisting her NOT to go I was telling her it would be best if she go early that night.  She and I had a minor argument, and she went early.

I came back to the place I met this guy, by then I was super excited and wanted to know his place.  I had to walk probably around 20 mins, I felt so dirty, so vixen, wanting to please him.  I arrived and was very disappointed in not seeing him.  I felt sad when I had to go home with no new experiences.  I tried to forget and never again asked my girlfriend to meet at that place, but from time to time I'd go there and look for him.

Time passed, and I saw some porn and got curious about huge erections and please someone.  I was so eager to please, men so eager to be pleased.  I started looking for gay men, and found a very interesting one, a leader in the gay community. He wasn't pushy, he showed me his place and invited me to see some films.  I felt comfortable.  He and I talked a lot over the phone.  I liked him but knew nothing would happen.

I was on and off with girls, even started seeing some BDSM stuff, and one night I was so excited I called a University where I knew there was a gay group.  Somehow, they routed me to a security guard, and we talked.  We spent a lot of time over the phone, we liked each other, but when I finally asked to meet him he didn't show up.  I was disappointed.

I then forgot about it, until one day I went with some friends to a bar, and I saw this guy that showed me his erection.  I felt a lot of anger when I saw him, I was with my friends, they of course didn't know anything and I just was in a bad mood for a while.  Of course, later that day I was looking for him.  Unfortunately, I didn't see him in the bar.

Eventually, I met a Mistress online and she wanted me feminized.  I liked her, she was very beautiful, and I like the feminization part but mostly thought on having sex with a Domme.  As the relationship evolved, I truly started thinking on only pleasing her, she is in a superior level to me, and I just totally forgot about having sex with her.  She eventually guided me to a fantasy of hers, she told me she'd love to have me fucked by 2 or 3 rude men in front of her.  I pleased her by talking/chatting/writing about it so much until I started enjoying it.  I started enjoying thinking of me having sex with men.  She not only encouraged that, but we went through some sessions where she'd tell me to pick 2 male friends I've had in the past, and to think of them as boyfriends.  I fantasized a lot with them/about them.  She even went with me over some details on how to tell my girlfriends about it, how I'd feel.  I finally reached the point where I could get excited with pleasing any man she'd choose, by that time she had a serious relationship and her boyfriend would toy with me, and she also contacted me with a gay friend she has.

So I can now imagine having a serious relationship with men, mostly in the context of me being a submissive, and I sometimes enjoy thinking how that would work out.